


such great heights (everything's gonna be ok)

by SinkorSwim



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, Gen, Homophobia, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Hurt Louis, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, Kinda, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, PTSD, Poetic, Poetry, Sick!Louis, Sickfic, could be, eh, hahahaha, slight suicidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-14
Updated: 2013-04-14
Packaged: 2017-12-08 11:02:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/760600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SinkorSwim/pseuds/SinkorSwim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>someone is desperately trying to keep him awake.</p><p>he isn’t sure that he wants to</p><p>(he always thought his life was a dream)</p><p> </p><p>or, the one where one direction broke up, lost contact with each other, and louis is hurt. bad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	such great heights (everything's gonna be ok)

**Author's Note:**

> oh gosh. this is so so sososososo weird idk why I wrote it. it's completely and utterly medically incorrect, so don't like call me out on that because I PROMISE YOU I KNOW. So yeah. Title is from The Postal Service's song "Such Great Heights" as well as the the lyrics. umm umm umm yeah idk this weird and yeah ugh ok
> 
> ALSO ALSO ALSO GRAMMAR IS NOT MY FORTE SO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH PLURAL/POSSESSIVE OF LOUIS NAME? WHERE DOES THE APOSTROPHE GO W H E R E?

when the blows come,

****

the slaps and the kicks and the _words_

****

louis wasn’t expecting it.

****

it had been years since anyone had paid him any real attention,

****

and suddenly all these people were screaming and surrounding him because

****

he was bleeding out on the clubs floor.

****

and its been years since that whole boy band thing ended,

****

but people still know who he is, who he was.

****

someone he doesn’t know is cradling his head in their lap,

****

desperately trying to keep him awake.

****

he isn’t sure that he wants to

****

(he always thought his life was a dream)

****

\----

****

one direction’s break up hadn’t been how anyone had expected it.

****

there wasn’t some big fight

****

or scandal or anything really.

****

it was just kind of.

****

it was just.

****

it was.

****

(it happened and none of the boys really know how)

****

\----

****

one direction’s life after their break up also didn’t end up like anyone expected.

 

because no one expected them to drift.

****

well, the boys didn’t at least.

****

they didn’t expect time differences and long voicemails.

****

they didn’t expect missed birthdays or gossip articles or distance.

****

(they sure as fuck didn’t expect that their first get together after 5 years would be in louis’ hospital room)

****

\----

****

contrary to popular belief, louis tomlinson and harry styles were not in a relationship.

****

yes, they had been hooking up.

****

yes, sometimes, louis looked at harry like he was stars and the moon and everything inbetween. 

****

yes, sometimes, harry looked at louis like he was the sun and the warmth on his skin. 

**** ****

but, no harry styles and louis tomlinson were not in love

****

(really, they weren’t, they promised)

****

\----

****

the day liam heard about louis was the day a thunderstorm scared loki under the bed.

****

liam was trying to coax him out with a trail of a million treats, when his phone rang.

****

he had sighed and knee-walked over to the bedside table and grabbed it.

****

and.

****

well louis hadn’t called liam in years.

****

and yet.

****

liam picked up the phone.

****

(he was met with a frantic jay telling him that louis might not make it through the night).

****

\----

****

he had called the rest of the boys of course.

****

well. he had called all the boys mothers.

****

because. because it’s not like they would pick up the phone for him anyways

****

(and god that hurt more than he ever thought it could)

****

\----

****

harry arrived at liams flat first.

****

he was jet-lagged and cross and scared.

****

zayn stumbled in a few hours later, chain smoking and sporting a dagger tattoo below his ear.

****

and finally niall arrived, as bright and bubbly as always.

****

the car ride to the hospital was silent, save for the radio blaring nicks breakfast show because of course he was still doing that.

****

(it wasn’t a tense silence, but it wasn’t like they were fucking kids again.)

****

\----

****

they all walk in at the same time and stop because _louis_.

****

he has tubes down his throat and his face is swollen and, _oh god_ ,

****

half his head is shaved and wrapped in a white bandage.

****

harry runs into the bathroom and pukes.

****

(it’s been five years and yet he still remembers the smell of louis’ hair in morning just as the sun peeked in through the window)

****

\----

****

its just,

 

here, in this dark space,

****

louis doesn’t have to be brave or lonely or funny.

****

he can, for once in his life be silent

****

(and not have everyone pestering him because of it)

****

\----

****

that doesn’t mean he can’t hear his mum and his sisters and his fucking bandmates.

****

ex-bandmates.

****

talking above him as he sleeps.

****

(he wonders if they can hear him thinking)

****

\----

****

the boys stay.

****

they sit in louis’ room and watch movies on the shitty hospital tv and go on food runs.

****

and everyday they take turns buying louis a new cd or pair of shoes or a poster.

****

just so he has something to wake up for.

****

(because yeah, they haven’t really been a reason for louis to do anything in forever.)

****

\----

****

harry takes to holding louis' hand.

****

he counts lou’s fingers over and over and over again everyday.

****

like he used to when they would finish kissing each others breaths away.

****

he sits next to louis’ torn up face counting his fingers and telling him that

****

yeah, louis you were always the breaths in between and the breeze in the trees

****

(yeah, louis you always had my heart)

\----

****

louis wakes up.

****

and its scary because when he wakes up he chokes on the tubes in his throat.

****

and starts crying really hard and claws at his neck.

****

nurses and doctors stream in a push harry away from louis.

****

the boys get shoved out of the room by jay.

****

she says that maybe it’s time they go home and get some rest.

****

(but how in the world could they do that? they sit. they sit and they wait.)

****

\----

****

they are still sitting when the screaming starts.

****

they hear louis screaming and crying and _pleading_ for his head to stop banging

****

and for the dark room to come back _because mum I swear it was so nice there, I just want to go_

_**** _

_back please please send me back_

_**** _

(and harry wonders where that dark room is and if he is invited in too)

****

\----

****

when the boys are finally let back in, it’s almost 3 hours after they heard louis screaming.

****

they shuffle in one by one, like children coming back in from recess hoping that they can catch

****

the last few seconds of sun.

****

and when they see louis it’s like ice has descended on them and they are frozen and stuck and

****

scared.

****

because yes, louis is awake.

****

but he isn’t alive. his eyes are open and unseeing and he looks straight through all of them.

****

(he doesn’t acknowledge the things they had gotten him, and he doesn’t even start when harry sits down and starts counting his fingers, just like before)

****

\----

****

the doctors say louis in this catatonic state.

****

when the brain gets stressed out after a serious trauma,

****

it affects different people in different ways.

****

louis’ way of coping is.

****

well, it’s not coping at all, is it?

****

(he stares blankly at the same pale green colored tile across from him and doesn’t move, not even when his sisters beg him to.)

****

\----

****

and so days pass.

****

and niall is trying really hard not to just slap louis across the face because jesus christ he

****

can’t _deal_ with this.

****

and zayn just really wants to smoke in lou’s room because then maybe he could spend more

****

time inside than he does out.

****

and liam.

****

liam is frantically trying to not let all this get to him,

****

because without lou he has to be the strong one

****

and none of this was ever supposed to happen.

****

(and then there’s harry, he just sits and count’s louis’ fingers and he is almost as gone as louis.)

****

\----

****

and then all of the sudden everythings changed.

****

because louis not staring off into space anymore.

****

instead he is sleeping. and when he is not sleeping he is screaming.

****

and no one really knows why but.

****

the doctors keep saying the same thing

****

_all traumas are different. you just have to be patient._

****

(and harry can’t help but think that it shouldn’t of taken louis almost dying for harry to come home to him.)

****

\----

****

“we have to do something.”

****

“I know.”

****

“I can’t take this screaming anymore li.”

****

“I know.”

****

“what can we do?”

****

“we can sing.”

****

(it’s the only thing that makes sense, no matter how cliche they all think it is.)

****

\----

****

they sing.

****

(they end up singing _Such Great Heights_ , with niall in the corner on his guitar and zayn and liam on

****

one side of louis and harry on the other, counting his fingers and stroking lou’s cheek)

****

\----

****

and it’s not like they expect him to just snap out of it.

****

music is not magical, no matter how many people think it is.

****

(they hope that it at least helps louis’ know it’s ok to come back, when he’s ready)

****

\----

****

and then finally.

****

he does.

****

(his eyes focus, right as the sun peeks in through the window and harry nearly has a heart attack)

****

\----

****

and when all the boys are gathered around his bed

****

he whispers,

****

_“ And I have to speculate that god himself_

_**** _

_did make us into corresponding shapes like_

_**** _

_puzzle pieces from the clay”_

****

(and yeah, everything is going to be ok)

\----

****

fin.

 

**Author's Note:**

> yeah ok. i don't know guys, i just don't know.
> 
> (insert shameless self promotion here: please please check out my other fics! also find me at iwishiwashiscompanion.tumblr.com)


End file.
